Surviving a panic attack
I won’t try to list all the symptoms or giving you the definition of a panic attack or investigating the biology behind, there are way more qualified people for that. Instead, I’ll tell you what I know by experience, and it goes like this: having a panic attack is a fucking terrible thing! It’s something you can’t really explain, from one moment to the other you start losing both your physical and mental existence. You can’t control yourself or anything around you, you are just not yourself anymore. It’s so bad that you are dying to get out of it, but while you are trying, it’s taking more and more of yourself away from you.
It gets difficult to breath, so you are terrified you’d choke. You feel you cannot move your muscles, so you are terrified you got paralyzed. You have no idea what’s happening to your body and your mind, so you are terrified you’ve gone crazy… the whole thing is about being terrified and wanting to get out but not knowing how.
When this happens, it will be bad, no matter what. However, the good news is that there are ways to make panic attacks appear less frequently, or when they do, make them less horrible.
Due to having lived with agoraphobia, panic attacks happen to me quite often, so I’ve had my chances to learn how to deal with them. Unfortunately I cannot say I mastered the panic-know-how to a point I made them disappear forever, but I can say that now panic attacks don’t happen to me randomly anymore, only in situations connected to agoraphobia. Also, when they happen, they are way less bad than they used to be.
Here are the techniques which turned out to be helpful to me, try them if you need guidance for the bad moments. The effect of these techniques vary from person to person, so in case you experience that some of them are not useful for you, then forget about them, take only the helpful ones with you… and survive!
To do’s when you panic
Take it easy
The first and most important rule of coping with a panic attack is acknowledging the symptoms, realizing that it’s just a panic attack again and then taking it as easy as possible.
The phrase that saved me already a dozen times goes like this:
‘Sweaty palms again? Mmmm… OK then, no worries, it’s just panic attack and panic attacks cannot last more than 1-2 min so soon I’ll be fine again. Let’s survive these couple minutes and in the meanwhile how about doing some coping techniques?’
It’s important to know that panic is not permanent, it cannot take control over your brain or anything like this. A panic attack happens due to some external or internal factors, it causes a sudden increase in your adrenaline level which causes the symptoms you experience. However, luckily your body is not able to maintain the high level of adrenaline for long. As a consequence, the panic attack will not stay with you for long, it cannot. After a few bad moments, maybe some minutes it will be over, no matter the situation. Well, then yes, you might experience it again and again, and that’s really not so nice, but actually this is the part you can improve by learning coping techniques or by attending therapy.
I don’t believe in magic therapies which could prevent me from having panic attacks ever again, but I do see how learning about my condition has helped me in developing coping techniques which make it much much less terrifying to experience a panic attack. And as panic is a self-evoking process, getting better at managing them will make them happen less often.
So again, take it easy, panic is just panic, will last for a few moments and then leave. Luckily nothing more serious is happening to you, so try to appreciate it leaving soon.
Breath, breeath, breeeath...
Breathing techniques are wonderful tricks! At first I thought it was stupid, because usually when I pay attention to my breathing, I end up contemplating things like ‘will it ever stop?’, ‘isn’t this annoying to keep breathing all the time? I don’t want it, I want it to stop!’ and other super-smart thoughts like these, and then I panic even more.
Well, having used them lots and lots of times, now I am confident that breathing techniques can save you from some bad moments of panic, so start using them! There are several types of breathing techniques, but here’s my personal favorite, it’s really simple: breath in, keep it inside for a bit and then breath out, slower than you breathed in. This is the crucial part actually, no matter the seconds or any of that, but the breathing out has to be slower than the breathing in. If you manage to keep this breathing rhythm for some minutes, your heartbeat will slow down and panic will be gone. For me the nice part here is (stupid as it may sound) that I really believe that while keeping this breathing technique I can slow down my heartbeat, which means I’m in total control over my body and no panic is strong enough to take over that control.
Move
During a panic attack your muscles become tense and you may feel paralyzed. Well, as long as it’s a panic attack, I can tell you you are not paralyzed. Actually, in order to realize that whatever terrible feelings you are experiencing are only there because of your own perceptions, you should do everything possible to get back to reality and see that everything is just normal around you.
One important thing to do during a panic attack is to move. No matter how slow or fast or whether with your whole body or just a finger, but it’s important that you move in a way that your mind realizes that you still control your body and that your muscles are still functioning. In case you are in an open space, take a walk, jump, run, dance.. whatever, just move. In case you are in a car or at the office or at any place where you cannot walk around, just reach out for a bottle of water and take a sip (especially if panic makes you feel like choking — taking a sip of water will loosen your throat muscles and your neck will feel more free), talk, move your fingers and your feet, touch something around you, pinch yourself… Do anything you can, just move!
Back to reality
Moving is an important part of getting you back to reality. Panic can make you feel out of control, as if something took control over your brain and sometimes even your body. It can make you feel so terrified that whatever you are experiencing will be kind of surreal, out of anything usual or accepted.
So in order to let a panic attack go, you have to get back to reality and realize that there’s no reason to be terrified. In reality your environment is much more boring and ordinary than in your imagination, which is exactly what you need to know when you are feeling that you’re about to die. A good way to get back the sense of reality is to make all your senses realize it, with a task, a challenge. Find exactly 5 things you see. Then find 5 things you hear. Then 5 that you can touch, and actually touch them. Next step, go for 4 new things you see, 4 you hear and 4 you touch. Go on until you reach zero, then if it helped even just a little bit, start over.
Distract yourself
When you are experiencing a panic attack, being miserable and trying to survive somehow are the only things you can think of. It’s all over your body and your mind. In these situations distracting yourself could be a very helpful technique, although it’s really difficult, I know…
Like when someone tells you not to think of a lemon. Right? Well, telling yourself not to think of panicking when you are panicking will not help.
However, some activities might help to distract you. For me for example one such activity is cleaning. When I’m at home and I start feeling anxious, I immediately start cleaning and I know it will help. Truth to be told, I kind of like cleaning, so this might not be the solution for others, who don’t. But just like cleaning for me, I’m sure everyone can find some activities which will distract them. Playing videogames, baking, going for a walk, puzzles, math exercises… anything that can keep your attention and not let it go back to feeling miserable.
In certain situations however you might not be able to carry out any of these activities. Like you cannot start cleaning when you are busy panicking in a car. Well, it’s a bit more difficult then, but there are still ways to distract yourself. For example playing brain games could be useful.
For me it’s usually some kind of counting or puzzles, finding a word that starts with the last letter of the previous one. I do this for a while and honestly sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. Anyway, it could be worth a try, in bad moments you have to stick to anything that has even a little bit of chance of helping.
Self-talk
Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself because it will lead your mind to a good or a bad direction. Like repeating
‘I’m going to die’ will not help for sure, it will just make you feel more terrified. Instead, better self-talk is something like this:
‘This is just panic, no big deal, it will be over in a bit.’ or
‘OK, I’m panicking again, but it’s ok, not the first time, let’s remember what I’ve learnt about how to deal with this.’
There are two important aspects here. One is to name it. To actually acknowledge that what you are experiencing is a panic reaction, it has a name and it’s something familiar already. Naming things is extremely useful in making them less mysterious and less scary.
Then besides naming panic, it’s also important to approach it in a way that shows that it’s not the end of the world. It’s bad, but it never killed you and it probably won’t this time, either.
Also, ask yourself questions! Questions are good to distract yourself and also to think about the situation with a more rational approach. A good one could be ‘What am I doing to maintain this situation?’ It will make you think and also give you the feeling that you are the one to maintain panic, meaning you are the one to control it.
Realize what’s real and what’s created only by your mind
Here’s a quote from Mark Manson: “The day I learned to get up and go talk to that person across the room I wanted to talk to was the day that I learned to stop saying, “I can’t talk to anybody,” and instead said, “It feels as though I can’t talk to anybody.” This simple decision, to identify my emotion as separate from reality, allowed me to then reject that emotion, to say, “I feel as if no one wants to talk to me, but that feeling may very well be wrong. Let’s find out.”
This same approach can be very helpful in panic as well. Often we feel certain things and take them for granted. However, sometimes our perceptions don’t match the reality.
For example when I’m in a car on the highway speeding by 90 mi/hour and I start having a panic attack, my incorrect self-talk would be ‘Oh no, this is terrible, here I really cannot get out. I just started feeling dizzy, but I cannot open the door, inside however it’s unbearable…’ and this is just the beginning, all these and similar thoughts rush through my mind and it may very well result in a terrible panic attack. In these situations it’s very important to push yourself to doubt your thoughts and your fears. Like being your own thought-judge, being as realistic as possible.
In the above case for example a better self-talk would be something like this: ‘Oh no, I started feeling bad, now it would be really uncomfortable to ask the driver to stop the car. Uh and I just started feeling dizzy. OK, but wait, nothing happened which could have caused this, so maybe it’s only panic that makes me think that I feel dizzy. So if I don’t panic, I’ll stop feeling dizzy. Best time to remember some of those coping techniques!’ This will not only distract you by questioning yourself and by having to think about the coping techniques, but it will also put you back in charge. Now instead of suffering through something that’s happening to you, you put yourself in charge in a situation where there is a problem, you identify it and then you look for solutions.
Try it next time, leading your thoughts will not be easy, but can be a great asset in having a peaceful relationship with panic.
Still alive? Cool, you made it! See, panic doesn’t last forever, plus now you have some useful techniques to make you more powerful when life gets rough.
Panic might challenge you, but it won’t kill you. My existence is the proof of it.